


Five Friends

by TimeShadow_01



Series: The Wizarding World of Wilford Warfstache [14]
Category: markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Police, Alternate Universe - Wizards, Art, Falling into trash piles is not good for your health, Gen, Portals, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:35:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeShadow_01/pseuds/TimeShadow_01
Summary: Wilford Warfstache stumbles upon a friendly group of Mundanes in LA.
Series: The Wizarding World of Wilford Warfstache [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1758817
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Five Friends

Mark held the door open for his friends as they exited the restaurant. It was a bright, sunny day, just like any other. The restaurant door closed slowly behind the group, cutting off the chatter coming from inside. They moved off to the side so they could still stand and talk without getting in the way of the door, or anyone else moving down the busy city street. Downtown Los Angeles in the afternoon was filled to the brim with people headed to a million different destinations.

“That was fun, guys, but I have to get going,” Mark said, checking his watch. “I want to practice my monologue a couple more times before the audition. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.” His smile wavered.

“You’re going to do great.” Amy pulled him into a hug. 

“You think so?” The others joined in on the hug and rattled off their own words of encouragement, finally earning a confident smile from Mark. He pulled back. “Yeah, I got this! I’ll be the best leading man they’ve ever seen! Thank you, guys!” He backed away, giving one last wave to his friends before disappearing down a side street.

.

.

.

The small group continued to walk down the city street, exchanging idle conversation. A few minutes into their walk, however, Tyler stopped dead in his tracks. The rest of the group followed suit.

“Tyler, what’s wrong?” Amy asked.

“I heard a weird noise back there,” Tyler replied absentmindedly as he turned and took a few paces back, leaning into an alleyway in search of the source of the noise. When he got there, he saw a strange man with wild pink hair and a matching mustache, lying in a heap among the contents of an overturned trash can. He held tight onto a stick in his left hand. A few pink bubbles floated overhead. “Oh my gosh, are you okay?”

“Never better!” The man hopped up with a smile, trotting over and shaking Tyler’s hand. “Now tell me, friend, where am I? And what year is it?”

“What year is… what? Uh… Los Angeles. 2020.“ 

"Really? That’s wonderful! Same place two portals in a row! And only a year off from the last portal! It must be a sign.” He happily twirled the thing in his hand. Now that he was closer, Tyler could see it wasn’t a stick, but an intricately carved piece of wood with a golden handle.

“Tyler,” Kathryn said cautiously, she and the other two next to him now, staring at the other man with the same confusion. “Who is this?”

“Allow me to introduce myself!” The man gave a little bow. “My name is Wilford Warfstache, pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“I’m Tyler,” he spoke carefully, still wary of this unusual stranger. “These are my friends; Amy, Ethan, and Kathryn.” The others gave half-hearted greetings. “Why were you in the trash?”

Wilford shrugged. “Who knows? I can never really tell where I’ll end up with these portals.”

“Portals?” Ethan chimed in.

“You know, those swirly things that help people get from place to place. Or from time to time in my case. Wait-” Wilford adjusted his glasses and squinted. “You folks aren’t wizards.”

_“Wizards?”_ Ethan said. “Sorry, but you aren’t making any sense.”

“Maybe he hit his head when he fell into the trash,” Tyler muttered.

“I _did_ hit my head, but that’s beside the point. I’m a time wizard!”

“Somehow I don’t believe you,” Amy said, crossing her arms.

“Mundanes, always so skeptical,” Wilford shook his head. He raised the wand in hand, swirling it in the air. The group of mundanes stared in awe as a small mass of pink bubbles and golden sparks formed to Wilford’s right, swirling until a small portal floated in the air. He then shoved his arm all the way to his shoulder into the portal, fishing around for a moment before retrieving a glass filled with an iridescent liquid. The portal closed with a little _pop_.

“What is that?” Kathryn was the first to break the stunned silence. 

“This is a martini,” Wilford tried to take a sip from the glass, only to miss his mouth entirely and spill it on his yellow shirt.

“That’s not like any martini I’ve seen before,” Tyler stared at the liquid, which seemed to change color in the afternoon sunlight.

“Sounds about right,” he hummed. “Wizard booze is different from the boring stuff you mundanes drink. It has more pizazz. Tastes better, too.” After another failed attempt at drinking the martini, he shrugged and lifted the wand again. Another bubbling portal opened and Wilford plunged his hand inside, which was followed immediately by the sound of shattering glass. He made an odd face, rummaging around the portal a little longer. He pulled his hand out, the miniature portal closing with a _pop_ behind him. “Ah! I was wondering where I left this!” He beamed, examining the object in his hand.

Tyler leaned in to get a better look at the object in Wilford’s hand, jumping back when he recognized it. “Is that a _gun?”_

“A flintlock pistol, yes.” Wilford held it up for the rest to see, aimlessly waving it around as he spoke. “The kind used by pirates for boarding action. Got into a real nasty duel with this back in the 1670s, this massive pirate thought I was trying to steal his treasure. Imagine me, stealing treasure! Ridiculous. I would’ve won that duel, too, had I not fallen back into the cannon and gotten shot off the ship,” He smiled at the memory. “Good times.”

“Can you stop waving that thing around!?” Ethan ducked to the side as the wizard casually gestured towards him with the pistol. “You’re gonna get someone killed!”

“Don’t be so skittish. It’s not loaded, see?” Wilford pointed the gun towards the air, pulling the trigger without a second thought. Instead of a gunshot, however, a great bolt of gold sparks shot out, racing high into the air before exploding like a firework. A few pink bubbles and colorful pieces of confetti lazily floated down in its wake. The four mundanes stared up in awe; meanwhile, Wilford shook the pistol, lifting his rose-tinted glasses to peer down the barrel of it with one eye. “Huh, I guess it _was_ loaded.”

Kathryn reached up, poking at one of the bubbles as it floated through the air. It dissolved into glitter when she touched it. “So does this mean..” She paused for a minute to gather her words, glancing around at her friends and then back at Wilford. “Magic is real? I thought that kind of stuff only existed in stories.”

“Of course it’s real! But don’t worry about not knowing about it, friend. The folks at the Wizard Committee are really adamant about the whole ‘keep magic secret because some mundanes get really freaked out about it and might try to kill us all’ thing. Not you guys, though. You seem very nice." 

"Wizard Committee?”

“Oh yeah, it’s all the people in charge of the wizarding world. A bunch of stuck up pricks if you ask me.” Wilford shrugged, before tucking the pistol and the Time Wand into the pockets of his trenchcoat. “But who cares about their silly little rules anyways?”

“WARFSTACHE!”

“Ah, that’s who.”

The small group of friends all turned to see who they assumed was another wizard marching towards them. Tyler and Amy instinctively moved in front of the rest of the group, Tyler crossing his arms in a move he hoped would be intimidating to the angry stranger.

They came face to face with Tyler, clutching the cane in their hand with a knuckle white grip. “Move.”

“Hey, Dark…” Wilford peered out from behind the two mundanes. “Nice to see you! No hard feelings about the portal incident back in Incantation, I hope. I was only trying to-”

“Shut _up,”_ Dark snapped. “You’re under arrest.”

“What? Why?” Amy said. “Is this because he showed us magic?”

“No, it’s because-” they paused. “You showed these mundanes _magic?_ ”

“Calm down,” Wilford placed his arms around the two in front of him. “We were just having a little fun. No harm in letting some common folks see the magic in the world.”

“No _harm?_ What about that time you nearly got us burned at the stake in Europe? Or that time a mob chased us in Salem?”

“Exactly! What fun times! Or that time in Greece-”

“We promised to _never_ talk about Greece.”

“I’m sorry,” Kathryn cut in. “Do you two _know_ each other? I thought you were a wizard cop or something.”

“Dark and I go way back!” Wilford perked up. “We’ve been friends since- hm, well I don’t remember but it’s been a while now. We’re always going on these crazy adventures together!”

“We are _not-”_ they sighed, putting their head in their hand before looking back up. “We are not friends. This man is a criminal, he stole a very powerful wand from the Wizard Committee and I’m here to take it back.”

“I thought all wizards had wands,” Ethan chimed in.

“What are you- no! This isn’t some fairytale, this man is a thief!" 

"But _you_ have a wand." 

"Why are we still talking about wands?! And this is a cane, by the way,” Dark objected, waving at them with the cane in their hand. They were clearly getting frustrated at this point. They took a breath in an attempt to calm down. “I know this is all really amazing, learning magic exists and all but you have to listen to me. This man is dangerous, that wand is dangerous. If you aren’t careful, someone will get hurt.”

The four mundanes went silent, shooting each other nervous glances. It was then Wilford moved past Amy and Tyler to stand in front of Dark. “And you say I’m the theatrical one. But fine,” he turned to the side, voice feigning sadness. He pulled the wand from his jacket again. “I can take a hint. If you don’t want me around I’ll just leave." 

"I won’t let you get away!” Dark lunged forward, Wilford just managing to take a step out of their reach and behind the small crowd of mundanes. Dark tried shoving past them, only for Tyler to grab them and pull them away.

“You need to calm down, I’m sure we can solve this without fighting!” Kathryn said as Dark managed to wrestle out of Tyler’s grip and towards Wilford, a few red sparks beginning to fly off their fingertips. 

“No! I’ve lost too many goddamn chances, I’m not letting you help him get away from me this time!” Dark shouted as a sudden surge of magic burst from their hand in the form of a small ball barreling straight toward Wilford. Everyone jumped back and just barely dodged out of the way, except for Wilford who simply tripped backward into another one of his portals which quickly closed behind him. The remaining group watched in shock as Dark stumbled to the ground, yelling in a combination of pain and frustration.

“Dude, are you okay?”

“Damn it!” Dark yelled, pulling themselves up. “No, I am _not_ okay! Do you have any idea how long I’ve been trying to catch that thief?!” They gritted their teeth, grabbing their hand. 

“Are you alright?” Ethan stepped forward. “Did you hurt yourself?”

Dark jerked back. “I’m _fine,”_ they spat. “I swear, if I ever see any of you talking to Warfstache again, I’ll have you arrested for obstruction of justice. _Now stay out of my way.”_ They shifted their attention from their shaking hand to their watch, which promptly started flashing red and blue. They then shoved past Ethan, slipping into the nearby alleyway.

Amy quickly followed after them, hoping to ask them a few more questions about the wizarding world; but by the time she made it in the alleyway, they were already stepping through a blue and gold portal. She managed to catch a glimpse of a shining room and a man in a blue suit before the portal disappeared altogether, taking with it her hope for answers.

.

.

.

Mark was sitting on his living room couch when his friends arrived, looking a little shaken. “Hey,” he stood up, sensing their unease. “Are you guys alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s alright. How’d the audition go?” Amy gave a smile.

“The audition was fine, but I can tell something’s wrong. What happened after I left?”

“That’s a long story,” Tyler mumbled. “You’re not going to believe it.”

Mark just smiled. “I’ve seen a lot of weird things in my life. Trust me, I’ll believe it.”

The four looked between each other, none of them wanted to say it. Amy sighed, speaking up. “We met a wizard.”

Mark let out a reluctant chuckle, not sure if it was a joke or not. “You met… a wizard?" 

"See, you don’t believe it!” Tyler said.

“I’m not joking,” Amy continued, looking down to avoid eye contact with Mark. “This guy named Wilford with pink hair and a wand appeared out of an alleyway and said he was a wizard. Of course, we didn’t believe him at first but then he started opening these portals, it was unbelievable! Then another wizard showed up, saying Wilford was a fugitive from this Wizard Council-”

“Committee,” Kathryn cut in. 

“Right, Committee, sorry. They got into a fight with magic, real magic! Wilford disappeared into a portal before the other wizard could catch him. It was insane, you probably think I’m crazy- Mark?” Amy looked up, getting a look at the man across from her.

His eyes were wide with shock, and he was no longer smiling. He backed up, sitting back down on the couch. “Oh my god…” he muttered. 

“Mark, are you alright?”

“You guys are lucky, crossing a member of the Wizard Committee and not getting hurt.”

“Wait, you know about the wizards?” Ethan spoke up, exchanging glances with his friends.

Mark looked down at his hands. “It’s a long story. I can’t go into it, but there was a time in my life where I was involved with the magic world. And I was around long enough to know that you _can’t_ trust the Committee. They’re nothing but a bunch of manipulators. They take innocent people and use them for their selfish ends before leaving them in the dirt. Only a few good ones manage to get away from their influence.”

“Well, if the Committee is as bad as you said, it’s lucky we met Wilford instead of someone else,” Ethan pointed out with an uncertain smile.

Mark didn’t smile back. “Not all wizards who leave the Committee are good, either. From your description, this Wilford guy sounds like a criminal from right before I left. He’s a murderer. He kills people without a second thought like it’s all some sick joke. I’m surprised you all made it out unscathed.”

Everyone remained silent, in shock of what Mark was telling them. “He seemed so nice…” Amy murmured. 

Mark gave a smile, a quick change from his previous grim statement. “You’re all safe. That’s what really matters. Now we can put all this wizard business behind us for good and move on. Hey, I just got that new party game and I’ve been wanting to play, we could-”

“I want to know more,” Amy said.

“You- what?”

“Mark, you can’t expect me to find out that there’s a magical society of wizards out there and just pretend nothing happened. I want to know more about magic, and something tells me you know more than you’re letting on.”

“It’s too dangerous, I don’t want any of you getting hurt. Besides, even if I wanted to, it’s been years. I don’t know…” he glanced up at his friends and realized that none of them were going to drop the topic any time soon. He sighed. “You really want to know more?”

“Yes,” Amy said, the others voicing their agreement.

Mark ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Alright, fine. I’ll teach you about the wizarding world, but you can’t tell _anyone_. Not even your families. It will just make you all targets for the Committee. I need you to promise me you won’t say anything.”

“I promise.”

“I promise.”

“I promise.”

“I prom- wait, I can’t even tell Spencer?”

_“Ethan.”_

“Okay, okay, I’m joking. I promise." 

With that, Mark began to relax. He stood up from the couch, "Alright, let me get some old books out of the attic and I can start teaching you guys about magic. I’ll be back.” He walked across the room to the stairs, smiling to himself a little before disappearing upstairs.

**Author's Note:**

> Come join us on Tumblr at https://wwoww-au.tumblr.com/ or on Discord at https://discord.gg/4VgYQsw to check out more content ~~that totally doesn't include a Caramelldansen meme~~ !


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